what do you mean not everyone has a toilet that washes and massages your butt
Wait there are toilets like that?
what an incredible experience it must be
im mildly concerned about something labeled “turbo” going near my butt
YOU SHOULD FEEL ASHAMED OF YOURSELF FOR THAT PUN
Imagine Teddy getting a howler from Tonks and he starts to freak out but when he opens it, it’s like
TEDDY GUESS WHAT, THE WEIRD SISTERS ARE COMING TO TOWN. PACK YOUR THINGS, SON, I ALREADY TALKED TO MCGONAGALL AND SHE SAID IT’S COOL. MERLIN’S PANTS I’M SO EXCITED. DON’T TELL ANYONE OKAY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T TELL DAD EITHER. OH FUCK, IS THIS A HOWLER? I FUCKED UP, I FUCKED UP.
And Remus at the teachers table covering his face to hide his laughter.
feminism never made me hate men but the reaction to feminism sure as shit did
some men* you literally cannot hate people you’ve never met or even heard of.
oh MY GOD OH MY GOD OHH M Y GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OHHHYM GOD OH MY GOD OH MY OD OOOOOH MY GOD oh MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD O H MY GO D OH MY GOD O H M Y GO D OH MY GOD OH MY GOD
nothing feels better than winning monopoly. not love. not sex. not free pizza. nothing
I’m sorry, have you tried pizza…?
yes and it doesn’t compare to owning half the board and watching the light die from your friends eyes as you take their money and feel your friendship slowly deteriorate
i like you
Now remember people, National Coming Out Day is on its way. If you “come out” on facebook as straight and/or cis, an ally, a brony, a fucking whovian, or anything other than a marginalized sexual orientation and/or gender identity, I will ram my boot so far up your ass you’ll be tasting Vans for weeks.
i find it really weird how we can talk to ourselves in our head like how does that even work